When they won't answer your email

We've all experienced the frustration of not hearing from someone we've emailed or phoned. What to do? The reality is that some people are juggling hundreds of emails a day and they do what we do: they triage, answering only the most critical immediately and holding the rest for later.

Peter Bregman, CEO of a management consulting firm, suggests several courses of action:

I've made the mistake of sending multiple messages to the unresponsive person. But I realized something: not a single one of those multiple follow ups worked. Sure the people might have called me back eventually, but I never — not once — got the work.

What to do?

One, elevate the follow up to a crisis email. If, for example, you're pitching your services, you could suggest another client is waiting for your time. I would only suggest saying that if it's true. If it's not, it's a perilous gamble.

Two, recognize that it's not a crisis — at least not to the person you're trying to get a response from — and accept that they will respond in their own time or not at all.

Then, he says, manage your own emotions. How? Follow up once, after the meeting, and the moment you send that follow up — not a week later but as soon as you hit send or hang up the phone — assume they're not interested. They've said "no." Close the book. Take the follow up off your to do list. Move on to the next thing.

One other possibility, Bregman says, and I do this: You can always send other information unrelated to the open issue — articles, updates, referrals — that might be of interest and deepen the relationship. But don't follow up on the open issue.