Are you a creative, innovative professional?

Save me.

Linked In has rummaged through your resume and made a Top Ten list of buzzwords.

1. Creative
2. Organizational
3. Effective
4. Motivated
5. Extensive expertise
6. Track Record
7. Innovative
8. Responsible
9. Analytical
10. Problem solving

A year ago LinkedIn put together the same sort of list of overused buzzwords. It’s no surprise that eight of the ten terms are the same this year, and “creative” remains at the top of the list. Two terms that are no longer on the list: “communication skills” and “dynamic. But those were replaced by the equally trite “responsible” and “analytical.”

Here's a look at buzzword use by geography.

The word that makes me the most crazy is "professional," as in "unemployed, do as little as possible professional."

How to lose a job before you get it

Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit has excellent advice for anyone writing a resume.

Over on Facebook, some friends have been talking about how with so many resumes coming in, they’ll toss any that contain typos. One comments: “I used to screen for my law firm. We would receive piles and piles of resumes, and that was during the boom years. I found myself tossing the majority of them for typos and the like. I also was surprised by how many applicants had inappropriate e-mail addresses (e.g., partygirl88@____.com).” 

The Insta-Daughter has a job where, as low person on the totem pole, she’s in charge of sorting the resumes, and she’s been amazed by how many (1) don’t indicate the job sought (sometimes they’re hiring multiple positions, and it’s not always obvious from the resume which one the person is applying for); (2) are several pages long, but don’t have page numbers and the person’s name at the top of each page (which makes them hard to reconstruct if they’re mixed up, as happens); and (3) refer the reader to a website for crucial information. Then there are the typos and grammatical errors, which are distressingly common even though these are mostly people with fancy educational backgrounds, and often with industry experience. 

So here’s some advice: As you put your resume together, imagine that you’re an intern or other junior employee faced with a stack of 500 resumes to sort, because that’s who’ll probably be the first person to see it. Make yours easy to sort, easy to keep together, and easy to follow. And remember that people faced with big stacks of resumes are basically looking for reasons to weed yours out, to reduce things to a manageable number, so don’t give them those reasons. Proofread, proofread, proofread — then have a friend proofread for you. It’s okay to have samples of your work on a website, but make sure that all the stuff people need to decide whether they want to look at you that closely is right there on the resume in convenient form. 

And do think about the email address. I see that kind of thing surprisingly often among my law students. (My favorite was a student — a big Democrat — whose email was “lickBush@___.com”; I suggested a change to something less political, or otherwise subject to misinterpretation). And in general, although people often spend a lot of time fussing over their resumes — because that’s the only part of the process where you’re in complete control — it’s a mistake to view your resume from your own perspective. You need to try to look at it from the perspective of the people who’ll be reading it at the other end.

One more bit of advice from a reader of the post:

In addition to the excellent information about resumes – all stuff I’ve been hammering people about for years – add in the ring back tones used on their phones and their voice mail messages. An utterly vile, hip-hop ring tone or a message like “You know what to do…” or “Leave a message, if it’s important I might call you…” (all stuff I encounter with frightening frequency) are good for a message to the effect “I was going to invite you for an interview until I was exposed to your complete unprofessional ring tone/voicemail message”.

Perhaps the best advice came from another reader:

If you’re looking for a job in the trades go meet people and introduce yourself, who you are and what you’re looking for. I do a lot of IT stuff for small companies and they’re not the kind of place that puts a help wanted ad on Monster or hires professional HR staff. They’re the company that hires their friends nephew or the guy they know from the baseball team or the IT guy from church so get out there and meet people. Almost everyone I know started with crappy jobs like hauling shingles up a ladder, but if you’re not willing to do the crap work chances are you won’t make it that far. There are lots of jobs advertised but there are lots more that aren’t.

You can't sit at home and play on the Internet. You have to get out there to discover the "hidden job market," which is what this reader refers to.

You need a story

Stanley Witkow, who helps people in their job searches, has a good point: you need a story.

In today’s competitive job environment, you need to do more than float your resumé, attend networking events, and make telephone calls. You need to have a plan. Most important, along with knowing what kind of position you want, you need to insure that everything you present to prospective employers, recruiters and networking contacts is designed to tell a consistent story about you.

Here's the plan.

The most effective way for a job seeker to make a memorable impression on prospective employers is to create a story. It should be a consistent story, reinforced through every part of the job search – from the résumé to the business card to the 30-second introduction to the message left on the answering machine.

Here’s an example. Our of our clients is employed in a small business that is declining because of competition from a national enterprise, and he expects to be laid off soon. Realizing that his niche is going to go away, he needs to reinvent himself. He’s held a series of other positions, but they don’t connect in any way—they’re not in the same industry, they’re not in the same functional position (i.e., he was in sales in one position, in finance in another, and he began his professional career in an entirely different kind of working environment).

But he was passionate in his interest in the environment, and had brought that passion to all of his prior jobs. So in re-designing his resumé, we created a story that showed his wide variety of skills that could be applicable to emerging “green businesses”. Then we created a 30-second introduction which began with his passion, and captured how he hoped to find a position that would marry that passion with the wide range of skills he had developed in his professional career.

Rather than attending a wide variety of networking groups, we urged our job seeker to research and attend organizations where individuals and businesses involved in the green world would participate. In this way his valuable (and limited) time would be spent where he would most likely meet people potentially helpful to his job search.

Finally, he created new business cards and other collateral material that emphasized not his history, but his new story.

Now he is telling a compelling story. He is able to express his passion for the environment, to which he is committed to bringing his considerable business skills. He networks with those who can introduce him to opportunities in green businesses. He leaves a compelling phone message, and makes a strong impression on the people he meets. He is making effective use of his time and other resources. And he is well-positioned for success in his search.

Make some effort with your resume, for crying out loud

Michael Hess, a blogger at BNET, writes about the terrible cover letters and resumes he receives from people wanting a job. Among the most common abuses in his mind:

No cover/introductory letter — I am a realist. I accept that the days of handwritten and snail-mailed cover letters and résumés are over, and for the most part that’s OK. But even in the era of e-mailed job applications and online résumés, the lack of a proper introductory note — no matter how brief — is inexcusable. A good cover letter can be as valuable as the résumé itself, since the cover is the “personal” part of the application, while the rest is the same work history that every other employer will receive. If I get a blank e-mail with a résumé attached, or an e-mail with nothing but a link to someone’s information online, the chances I’ll look any further start at zero and go down.

Terrible cover letter — An atrocious introductory note is almost as bad as no letter at all — and  sometimes even worse. I have received e-mails written in text-speak (”u sound like an awesome company, and I think I’d b an awesome employee, LOL”). I’ve gotten short notes that read as cavalier or arrogant (”my info attached, call for more info and interview”). And I’ve been sent e-mails that were short-sighted turn-offs (”what are the pay and benefits of the job?  If they are what I am looking for I will send my résumé”).

Bad résumé – Despite all of the resources available, quality résumés are very rare. I’d be surprised if one out of 20 that I read even comes close to what I consider “well done.” My feeling is that if someone can’t do a good job with the most important document he may ever write, what does that say about the work I can expect from him? When I wrote my first résumé, I had everyone I know read it to make sure there were no typos, that it flowed well, was well-written, honest and concise, showed me in the best possible light, raised no red flags, and so on. I knew I had exactly one, fleeting chance to get and keep an employer’s attention. No room for error in that.

I will chide Mr. Hess: I could not discover his company on the BNET site.

Just the facts, ma'am

Mark Jaffe, one of the 'World's 100 Most Influential Headhunters,' according to BusinessWeek magazine, sees way too many resumes.

Just been reading your resume. Say, are you really a “hands-on” executive?  Would your administrative assistant be willing to go on the record with that? And what’s the opposite of “results-driven,” anyway? Results-averse? Results-agnostic? Process-obsessed?

Less is more. And vice versa.

If you begin your summary by claiming to be a “seasoned, savvy professional with a distinguished career,” there’s nothing left for me to do but hand over my wife and kids. Seriously, good luck with them. Before I forget to ask, did your last employer sign off on you being a “visionary, world-class entrepreneur,” or did you kinda decide that on your own?

The same goes for cover letters. Here’s an actual, unedited excerpt from one of my favorite cover letters:

Twenty four (24) months later, after having done what I had always opted to accomplish and had dreamt to realize, i.e. ride my Harley Davidson, teach, hike and paint; a kind of ennui started to crawl all over me. I began to feel a little melancholy and earnestly yearn for the days when quotidian nonetheless grueling challenges were posed to me and interminable dynamic strategy formulation as well as decision making processes were factually a way of life, a kind of a circadian routine!

Here’s another — the preferred method — reproduced in full:

Attached is my resume. It’s my hope that I will bring value to one of your clients.

I rest my case.

I dunno. I kinda liked that ennui crawling all over me thing.

The things people put on a resume

Not going to make the final cut:

"Pig wrestling champion."

Candidate who had worked in a supermarket listed as one of his responsibilities: "Cut the cheese."

A man included his picture and the declaration that he was single and lived with his mother.

Under 'reason for leaving' an applicant stated, "Threat of death."

"It seems that my credentials would be a good fit for what you are looking to accomplish, however, I don't wish to make a career of it."

"Ecxellent attention to detail."

Hobbies: "Sleeping, etc., etc."

"I didn't like working at the strip club because I felt exposed."

How long should your resume be?

About as long as a rope. That's an old joke, but I'm an old guy.

Jeff Hunter at glassdoor.com, a job site, offers this advice after surveying recruiters and HR types: "There is no single correct answer. But remember that the longer you go, the greater the chance of boring the reader."

And he offers these tips on getting it right:

1. Make sure your resume clearly and succinctly communicates your achievements. Avoid resume "filler"--vague language that doesn't precisely explain a skill or an accomplishment. According to Rusty Rueff, Glassdoor career and workplace expert, you should try to tie each thing in your work history to a measurable result you achieved.

2. Evaluate whether an achievement is best highlighted in your resume, in an interview, or perhaps in your cover letter. Rueff says, "The resume is an outline, or a storyboard of you. It tells a story of continued achievement and growth. Storyboards hit the high points; the interview is when you can introduce dialogue, drama, the overcoming of barriers, and so on."

3. Consider whether a long-ago job best supports your qualification for a job you're after today. For example, a valuable experience waiting tables at one of the busiest restaurants in your town may have taught you how to multitask, but does that job readily speak to why you would make a great software engineer at Oracle?

4. Look at the format of your resume with fresh eyes and consider whether a brief paragraph or five to seven bullets would more easily express what you managed to do in your last few jobs. Rueff explains, "Consider your audience. For example, if you're applying for a job that will require a lot of writing, consider developing a two- or three-sentence paragraph for each job that gives a hint of your writing skills. However, if you're in a technical field, brief bullets may best showcase your experience. The bottom line is that whether you bullet-point your achievements or offer more color in a paragraph format, everything should be tied to a result and tell a mini-story within the bigger career story of you."

5. Avoid cliffhangers or one-liners that extend your resume to a second or third page. Often that last hanger line will either be ignored or simply have the potential employer asking, "Why didn't they clean that up?!'

6. And last but not least, if you're concerned about resume length even after running through each of these considerations, do notshrink the font size to something barely readable. Recruiters, hiring managers, and others who can help get you a job want to actually read your resume, so don't make doing so difficult. While there is no rule of thumb when it comes to the overall length, one to two pages is still the average.