And the wiener is ...

Eyelash mite.

The winner of the 2012 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, for the worst sentence in fiction, is Cathy Bryant of Manchester, England.

Here prize-winning entry:

As he told her that he loved her she gazed into his eyes, wondering, as she noted the infestation of eyelash mites, the tiny deodicids burrowing into his follicles to eat the greasy sebum therein, each female laying up to 25 eggs in a single follicle, causing inflammation, whether the eyes are truly the windows of the soul; and, if so, his soul needed regrouting.

And the Grand Panjandrum’s Special Award goes to Greg Homer of Placerville, CA.

The stifling atmosphere inside the Pink Dolphin Bar in the upper Amazon Basin carried barely enough oxygen for a man to survive – humid and thick the air was and full of little flying bugs, making the simple act of breathing like trying to suck hot Campbell’s Bean with Bacon soup through a paper straw.

Nice work, girls.